Somewhere along the way, we collectively decided that STI testing was something to whisper about, to feel embarrassed scheduling, or to avoid altogether out of fear. We've attached moral judgment to biological realities, and it's harming our health and our relationships.
Think about it: When you get your cholesterol checked or test for strep throat, do you feel shame? Of course not. You're taking care of your body. STI testing is no different—it's basic healthcare for sexually active people.
Yet the stigma persists, and it has real consequences:
The stigma is literally making us sicker.
Here's another uncomfortable truth: STIs are incredibly common. According to the World Health Organization, more than 1 million STIs are acquired every single day worldwide. In Ontario alone, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis are among the top 10 most reported diseases of public health concern.
If you contract an STI, you're not alone. You're not "damaged goods." You're not irresponsible or promiscuous. You're a human being who had sex—something the vast majority of adults do—and encountered a common health issue that has effective treatments.
Let's reframe this:
These are medical conditions, not moral failings.
Stigma thrives in silence. When we don't talk openly about STI testing, when we treat a positive diagnosis as something shameful, we perpetuate a cycle that hurts everyone:
Imagine a world where:
Normalize testing: Talk openly about getting tested. Share that you got tested recently (you don't need to share results unless you choose to). Make it clear that testing is part of your self-care routine.
Challenge judgment: When you hear someone make a derogatory comment about STIs, speak up. Remind them that STIs are medical conditions, not character assessments.
Practice compassion: If a partner discloses a positive status to you, recognize the courage that took. Respond with kindness, ask questions to understand, and make informed decisions together.
Educate yourself and others: Learn the facts about STIs—transmission, prevention, treatment. Share accurate information to combat myths and misinformation.
Lead by example: Whether you're monogamous, polyamorous, swinging, or exploring—show that sexual wellness includes regular testing and honest communication.
You deserve pleasure. You deserve healthy relationships. You deserve to take care of your body without shame.
Getting tested regularly shows that you respect yourself and your partners. If you test positive, seeking treatment shows strength and responsibility. Talking openly about sexual health shows maturity and care.
The stigma around STIs is a relic of outdated attitudes that equate sex with shame. It's time to leave it behind.
Your body is not dirty. Your choices are not shameful. Your health matters.
Let's create a culture where sexual wellness is celebrated, where testing is normalized, and where compassion replaces judgment. Because at the end of the day, we're all just humans trying to connect, experience pleasure, and take care of ourselves.
And there's absolutely nothing shameful about that.
Remember: Getting tested is sexy. Taking care of your health is attractive. And being honest with your partners is the ultimate act of respect.
Sexual health and performance specialist focusing on the intersection of physiological vitality and lived experience. Tracy Daly provides a knowledgeable, shame-free space for the LGBTQIA+ community and those in CNM/ENM relationship structures, advocating for sexual agency through behavior change and radical inclusivity.
