Sexual Communication: How Do We Share What We Want & Need?

In a world swirling with fast-paced images, movies, and cultural expectations, discovering—and expressing—what we truly desire can feel complicated. But at the heart of healthy sexuality is communication: with ourselves, and with our partners.

Microsexual & Macrosexual Communication

To build lasting sexual satisfaction, we need both microsexual and macrosexual communication (1):

• Microsexual: The small, everyday exchanges—often neglected—that predict long-term satisfaction.
• Macrosexual: The big-picture conversations that keep your sex life vibrant and healthy.

Macrosexual communication refers to the broader, more explicit conversations about your overall sexual relationship, boundaries, desires, expectations, and values. These are the “big talks” that set the foundation for understanding each other’s needs, discussing relationship agreements, exploring fantasies, and navigating changes over time. While microsexual communication covers the daily, subtle signals, macrosexual communication ensures that both partners are aligned on the bigger picture of their sexual connection.

The Four Types of Microsexual Communication

1. Direct-verbal: Clear, explicit words (“Would you like to have sex?”). Least confusing.
2. Direct-nonverbal: Physical gestures that build on past conversations (caressing a face, massaging feet).
3. Indirect-verbal: Suggestive language (“Should we head to bed and cuddle?”).
4. Indirect-nonverbal: Subtle cues (licking lips, long eye contact, sitting closer). These are hardest to decode.

Consent, Direction & Dirty Talk

Great sex is rooted in consent—think F.R.I.E.S (2).: - Freely Given - Revocable - Informed - Enthusiastic - Specific

Direction (“Tell me how you like it”) and dirty talk can deepen connection and create positive, memorable experiences.